Null Bit Me

An anonymous null bit wanders… wanting to infect.

Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

The Stock Market simply illustrated….

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Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers.
Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs50.” The villagers squeezed up with all their savings to buy the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!! !! –

*_Welcome to the Stock Market!!!!!_*

Written by Null Bit

Monday, May 5, 2008 at 2:23 pm

Posted in EmailFwds, Funny

Sivaji.. Sivaji.. Sivaji..

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After six, there is seven. After Sivaji, there is heaven

If Sachin hits, it’s a sixer. If Sivaji hits, it’s a stretcher

If you cross Chittoor, there’s Katpadi. If you cross Sivaji, there’s a dead body” (Say it with a Tamilian accent :-))

Got any more of these??

Written by Null Bit

Sunday, June 24, 2007 at 9:57 pm

Posted in Funny

Who created men?

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If God created women… I wonder who created men. Because if God had created both of us, we’d all be brothers and sisters! I don’t like that!!

I’m hoping it was a guy in a galaxy far far away… maybe we men are all descendants of Darth Vader 😛

May the force be with us 😀

Written by Null Bit

Thursday, March 8, 2007 at 12:15 pm

Posted in Funny, Muses

WordWeb Free License Terms

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I just installed the latest WordWeb Free Version. I never read license terms, but for some reason I did today. This is what stood out:

You may use the program free of charge indefinitely only if

  • You take at most 4 flights (2 return flights) in any 12 month period
  • AND you do not own or regularly drive an SUV (sports utility vehicle).

I was stumped 🙂 Read the complete license at http://wordweb.info/free/licence.html.

It’s nice to see software spreading awareness about global warming.

Written by Null Bit

Sunday, March 4, 2007 at 9:21 pm

Posted in Funny

Why should my wife be a virgin?

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This post by Ideasmith that linked to further posts by other women suddenly made me want to understand why did men want to marry virgins. Let me try to think like different males of different ages and lets see what I can come up with:

  1. Damn, she’s done it before me 😦 I don’t want to marry her. I’ve lost the race. [This applies to a guy who’s not done it yet and is extremely competitive]
  2. Aw shucks… what if she starts comparing me to the other guys…. and I am not good enough 😦 [This applies to a guy with low self-esteem and would especially apply to a guy who’s never done it]
  3. What! She’s done it before. She’s got no morals. What if she does it with other men after marriage. I can’t marry her. [This applies a guy who doesn’t understand the power of love]
  4. If I meet one of her ex’s and he reminds me of their time together, I won’t be able to bear it. Wah! 😦 [This applies to insufferable romantics weak-hearted men some men]
  5. She must have become “big” down there. I’ll never be able to fill her and satisfy her. [You need to grow up kiddo]
  6. She loves to do it too much. What if she can never have enough? She’ll wear me out and still not be happy 😦 [Go out jogging every morning…]
  7. She might have STD’s. Why take a risk? [The ever cautious idiot]
  8. She might find me too small and make fun of me 😦

Ok… that is all I could think of. Please don’t beat me up. I just needed a break from work and something to get me to blog… and sex is usually a good topic to get out all that rust 🙂 All these came from all the discussions we had when we were in school and later.

Sometimes age is not enough to grow up.

Written by Null Bit

Tuesday, February 27, 2007 at 8:04 pm

Posted in Funny, Muses, Trackbacks

My Visual DNA

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Written by Null Bit

Tuesday, February 27, 2007 at 2:02 pm

Posted in Funny, Quizzes

The crazy day someone said I was unusually smart!!

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Yep… me and unusually smart! 😀

All-Around Awesome

You have:
77% SCIENTIFIC INTUITION and
85% EMOTIONAL INTUITION

The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored well above average on emotional intuition and well above average on scientific intuition. (Weirdly, your emotional and scientific intuitions are equally strong.)

Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake.

Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences.

Try my other test!
The 3 Variable Funny Test
It rules.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 80% on Scientific
free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 94% on Interpersonal
Link: The 2-Variable Intuition Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Written by Null Bit

Sunday, April 23, 2006 at 4:24 pm

Posted in Funny, Quizzes

Can I get my 2 million hits?

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Got this link from the Bloglines Most Popular Links 🙂 That was an awfully simple way to dupe you girlfriend into having a threesome 😀

I said to my girlfriend that any stupid website could get tons of hits, simply because people are bored all the time.

How true. How awfully true.

Written by Null Bit

Saturday, April 8, 2006 at 3:25 pm

Posted in Funny

ooh oooh ooooh

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 Now, why did that never happen to me 🙂

I hope this works 🙂 This is the first video I'm linking to. I sometimes browse through videos at YouTube when I am bored.

Written by Null Bit

Wednesday, March 29, 2006 at 8:38 pm

Posted in Funny, Video

Test Results of the Autism-Spectrum Quotient test

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Took the AQ Test i.e. the Autism-Spectrum Quotient which is a measure of the extent of autistic traits in adults.

Definition of autism:

  1. (psychiatry) an abnormal absorption with the self; marked by communication disorders and short attention span and inability to treat others as people [via WordWeb]
  2. A psychiatric disorder of childhood characterized by marked deficits in communication and social interaction, preoccupation with fantasy, language impairment, and abnormal behavior, such as repetitive acts and excessive attachment to certain objects. It is usually associated with intellectual impairment [via Dictionary.com]
  3. a variable developmental disorder that appears by age three and is characterized by impairment of the ability to form normal social relationships, by impairment of the ability to communicate with others, and by stereotyped behavior patterns [via Merriam-Webster Online]

Definition of adult:

  1. A fully developed person from maturity onward [via WordWeb]
  2. Any mature animal [via WordWeb]
  3. One who has attained maturity or legal age [via Dictionary.com]
  4. Biology. A fully grown, mature organism [via Dictionary.com]
  5. noun: one that is adult; especially : a human being after an age (as 21) specified by law [via Merriam-Webster Online]

According to the test, "Eighty percent of those diagnosed with autism or a related disorder scored 32 or higher".

I scored 31. I seem to be almost autistic or not an adult at all 😛

Written by Null Bit

Wednesday, March 29, 2006 at 2:00 pm

Posted in Funny, Quizzes

Teaching how to stand in line!!

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From Ripley’s Believe It or Not:

While preparing to greet the world at the 2008 Olympics, officials in Beijing, China are using city employees to teach locals how to stand in line – something they are not accustomed to doing!

Now when does India host the Olympics… we desperately need to 🙂

Written by Null Bit

Friday, March 24, 2006 at 1:51 pm

Posted in Funny

Want a job? Call Rajdeep Sardesai

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“In my new avatar, most people who call or sms me to wish a happy holi are usually job-seekers.”

— Rajdeep Sardesai

[From http://www.ibnlive.com/blogs/blog_entry.php?id=7008&author_id=1]

This brought a wide grin on my face 😀

Written by Null Bit

Friday, March 24, 2006 at 10:17 am

Posted in Funny

Long Live my Jeans

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I’ve always wondered why women wear tight jeans. Lately I’ve discovered some benefits of that! It reminds you almost instantly when you’re putting on some extra weight. And it acts as a constant reminder 🙂

Yup. I’m gaining weight around my middle :-(( And I try to get around the constant reminder thing by wearing the same jeans for days…eeeekk… yep; I wear it once, and it stays put for as long as it can 😀

Written by Null Bit

Thursday, March 23, 2006 at 1:33 pm

Posted in Funny

The Moving Train — an awesome ad for www.MakeMyTrip.com

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An absolutely wonderful ad for the www.MakeMyTrip.com site, driving home the point like no other ad of theirs has. Check out http://www.webchutney.net/mmtdaku/index.html. It’s in Hindi though, with no subtitles.

Actually, I don’t think subtitles could have been effective or fun in this case.

Written by Null Bit

Friday, February 17, 2006 at 5:37 pm

Posted in Funny

Awesome quote!

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Three lefts make the wrong right…

Written by Null Bit

Thursday, February 16, 2006 at 11:52 am

Posted in Funny